How do couples really
communicate?

This survey explores communication between partners — the tools we use, the moments things break down, and what actually helps. There are no right answers.

⏱

8–10 minutes

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Fully anonymous

Part 1 · Your Relationship

Question 1 of 22

Which best describes your current relationship status?

Single / not in a relationship right now

Casually dating someone

Serious relationship (under 1 year)

Long-term relationship (1–5 years)

Long-term relationship (5–10 years)

Long-term relationship (10+ years)

Married / domestic partnership

Please select one answer

Question 2 of 22

Do you live together?

Yes

Partially / some weeks

Please select one answer

Question 3 of 22

Do you have children together?

Yes, under age 5

Yes, ages 5–12

Yes, teenagers or older

Please select one answer

Part 2 · Communication Reality

Question 4 of 22

In the past month, how many times did you have a conversation with your partner that ended with the feeling you didn't really understand each other?

Never — we generally feel understood

Once or twice

3 to 5 times

More than 5 times

Almost every day — it's a recurring pattern

Please select one answer

Question 5 of 22

When there's a real argument or misunderstanding, what do you usually do?

Choose up to 2 options

Try to cool down and return to the conversation later

Talk it through with a friend or family member

Read an article, book, or listen to a podcast

Use a relationship app or digital tool

Go to couples therapy

Nothing — it passes on its own

Journal

Please choose up to 2 options

Question 6 of 22

What best characterizes the communication challenges in your relationship?

Choose up to 2

Feeling unheard — like what I'm trying to say doesn't land

Bad timing — conversations start at the wrong moment

Arguments escalate fast and go to extremes

One of us shuts down and goes quiet

The same arguments keep coming back

The fight ends but the bad feeling lingers

We don't have significant communication issues

Please choose up to 2 options

Question 7 of 22

When would you most want support with relationship communication?

Before a hard conversation — to prepare what I want to say

In the moment — when I don't know how to respond

After a fight — to understand exactly what happened

Ongoing — to understand our patterns over time

I don't feel I need support with this

Please select one answer

Question 8 of 22

What best describes your relationship right now?

We're in a great place — we genuinely feel understood

Generally good, but moments that leave something unresolved

There are gaps that bother me — we can't quite get to the depth

Rough — feelings of distance or misunderstanding come up often

Please select one answer

Question 9 of 22

In the past 12 months, how much have you spent on improving your relationship?

Books, apps, card games, workshops, therapy, retreats

$1 – $50

$50 – $200

$200 – $700

Over $700

Please select one answer

Part 3 · Digital Behavior

Question 10 of 22

Have you tried any of the following tools?

Check all that apply

Paired

Lasting

Gottman Card Decks / Gottman App

Esther Perel — "Where Should We Begin?"

We're Not Really Strangers

BetterHelp / Talkspace for Couples

None of the above

Something else

Please select at least one option

Question 11 of 22

If you tried one and didn't keep using it, why?

Choose up to 2 options

Couldn't turn it into a habit

Didn't feel it actually helped

My partner wasn't willing to participate

Privacy concerns — didn't feel safe

Price

Still using it

Never tried any

Please choose up to 2 options

Question 12 of 22

How many hours per week do you think your partner would be willing to invest in a relationship app?

Zero — they would refuse

Less than an hour

One to two hours

More than two hours

Not sure

Please select one answer

Part 4 · Privacy & Trust

Question 13 of 22

How comfortable would you be sharing private messages with an AI tool to receive communication advice?

Very comfortable — if it genuinely helps, I'll share

Comfortable, but only if nothing is stored and no human sees it

Uneasy — I'd want to edit out details first

Not comfortable — I'd prefer to describe things in my own words

Never — it feels like a privacy violation

Please select one answer

Question 14 of 22

If all analysis happened only on your device — nothing sent to a server — how much would that change your willingness?

Game changer — that's exactly what would make me try it

Helps a lot, but I still need to see it works

Minor factor — what I care about is whether it's useful

Doesn't matter to me — I'm not worried about it

Skeptical — companies always say that

Please select one answer

Question 15 of 22

Would you prefer to use a tool like this alone or together with your partner?

Alone only — I want to process things on my own first

Mostly alone, but my partner could see it if they want

Together — both of us need to use it for it to have value

Flexible — depends on the specific feature

No strong opinion

Please select one answer

Part 5 · Concept Reactions

The following questions describe capabilities of a hypothetical tool. No product name. Rate honestly.

Question 16 of 22

Imagine a tool that helps you better understand your partner's needs, feelings, and intentions — even when they can't express them themselves. How interested would you be?

Very interested — I'd try it today

Interested, but I'd need to trust it first

Mildly curious

Not really interested

That sounds invasive

Please select one answer

Question 17 of 22

Imagine a tool that helps you identify recurring patterns in your relationship — why certain arguments keep coming back and what helps with connection. Would you use it?

Yes, right after a fight

Yes, but only once I've cooled down

Maybe — depends on the moment

No — I prefer to process things alone

No — that sounds exhausting

Please select one answer

Question 18 of 22

For a tool like this — which two features matter most to you?

Choose up to 2

Absolute privacy — nothing leaves my device

Accuracy — it genuinely understands my specific situation

Speed — an immediate response in the moment

Long-term learning — it knows our dynamic over time

Partner involvement — my partner uses it too

Please choose up to 2 options

Part 6 · Willingness to Pay

Based on what you've described, imagine a tool that does three things: helps you understand your partner's needs and feelings even when they struggle to express them, identifies recurring patterns in your relationship, and works with complete privacy — nothing stored on a server.

Question 19 of 22

What's the maximum you'd pay per month if a tool like this worked well?

I wouldn't pay anything

Up to $4/month

$4 – $14/month

$14 – $25/month

Over $25/month

Please select one answer

Question 20 of 22

Which pricing model would you prefer?

Freemium — free base, pay for advanced features

Monthly subscription

Pay per use (credits per conversation)

One-time purchase

Free with ads

Please select one answer

Question 21 of 22

If it were free — would your partner use it with you?

Definitely yes

Probably yes

Not sure

Probably not

Definitely not

We'd use it separately

Please select one answer

Part 7 · Last Question

Question 22 of 22 — the most important one

Honestly — what would stop you from using a tool like this, even if it were free and worked perfectly?

1–3 sentences. No right answer.

Please write at least one sentence

About You

Age

18–24

25–34

35–44

45–54

55+

Please select your age

Gender

Female

Male

Non-binary

Prefer not to say

Please select an answer

Annual household income

Under $30,000

$30,000 – $60,000

$60,000 – $100,000

$100,000 – $160,000

Over $160,000

Prefer not to say

Please select an answer

Have you ever been in couples therapy?

Yes, currently

Yes, in the past

No, but we've considered it

No, never

Please select an answer

Email (optional)

If you'd like to hear when an early version is ready — one email only.

Not required

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How do couples reallycommunicate?

Thank you.

How do couples really
communicate?